On Saturday we prepared for a little trip, it's our anniversary today, so just a few days away somewhere on our own.
The first nightmare was that my period came Saturday Night and I had been asked to telephone the clinic when that happened, so on Sunday I sheepishly rang the emergency number and packed near on £1k worth of drugs on ice to take on our merry way. Fast forward 7 hours and someone called me back, too late for me to know that I really didn't need to take them all with me and that I only needed them when I'd had my first scan. Which could have been brought forward, to this week, is booked for next Monday! It's a bit of an info vaccum IVF! I wonder if they don't tell you too much in case you try to do it at home :-)
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Saturday, 25 July 2009
The Mood Swings?
Is it the drugs or is it just me?
I guess technically I am premenstral and menopausal, but everything is giving me the right arse.
I don't think I am having mood swings, but I do know that I feel a lot less patient than normal. Sometimes generally I feel really tired, and I get fed up with people who ask pointless questions or want instant answers that I can't give them, either because I am tired to pull together all the information or don't have the information to hand right now; I get fed up with people stating random standalone facts, that require no kind of interaction or response, just for me to switch off from what ever I was thinking about or listening to, or singing or concerntrating on to hear, particularly if (sorry R);I have heard it many times before, or (sorry A) if it is about something obscure babbling and difficult to decifer.
Maybe I should give up IVF now, how will I ever have the patience for a child when I'm tired.
And I am sure I will be tired all the time.
Because the truth is I think I always feel a bit like that, but maybe I am just more self aware sometimes.
Well we are off for our Anniversary for a short trip, and that will be lovely :-)
The sun is out, so I am going to put on a bouncy smile (in about 1 hour, I still need about an hour of not having to think) and have a lovely day.
I have to pick up Richard's anniversary present, hopefully he will like it.
:-)
And then we have to (after our break) save save save!
Because we are going to be broke broke broke!
I guess technically I am premenstral and menopausal, but everything is giving me the right arse.
I don't think I am having mood swings, but I do know that I feel a lot less patient than normal. Sometimes generally I feel really tired, and I get fed up with people who ask pointless questions or want instant answers that I can't give them, either because I am tired to pull together all the information or don't have the information to hand right now; I get fed up with people stating random standalone facts, that require no kind of interaction or response, just for me to switch off from what ever I was thinking about or listening to, or singing or concerntrating on to hear, particularly if (sorry R);I have heard it many times before, or (sorry A) if it is about something obscure babbling and difficult to decifer.
Maybe I should give up IVF now, how will I ever have the patience for a child when I'm tired.
And I am sure I will be tired all the time.
Because the truth is I think I always feel a bit like that, but maybe I am just more self aware sometimes.
Well we are off for our Anniversary for a short trip, and that will be lovely :-)
The sun is out, so I am going to put on a bouncy smile (in about 1 hour, I still need about an hour of not having to think) and have a lovely day.
I have to pick up Richard's anniversary present, hopefully he will like it.
:-)
And then we have to (after our break) save save save!
Because we are going to be broke broke broke!
Monday, 20 July 2009
Dreaming
Last night I dreamed I was having a period, I wonder if that is because I am bloated from my injections so far or is my period coming early?
IVF and ICSI
I had never heard of ICSI until we needed it.
My lovely husband needed a vasectomy reversal and I was warned by my doctor that these are not always successful and not always successful for very long. Which was a big shock to My LH as when he had had the vasectomy it was more a less a suggestion in the surgery one week and a call in to have the vasectomy because someone else had cancelled theirs the next. Ironically on Valentines day. So I have always referred to it as the Valentines day Massacre.
As it is the Vasectomy is free and quick and easy, getting a reversal was a trial, the hospital insist that the samples are free from any traces of swimmers, swimming or lazing on the meniscus. This took some time.
Immediately after the Reversal there was minute traces of Swimmers, but about a month after that there were absolutely none.
Devastated! What really peed me off was, the doctor could have taken a sperm sample at the time and could have checked the tubes for blockages and made a join in the cut tubes avoiding blockages, but he didn’t and this cost several thousand pounds. Even more curiously one side of My LH’s tubes had apparently healed themselves! But no swimmers!
So the first time we looked into this we went to Bourne Hall in Cambridgeshire, which is where the first IVF baby was born.
It was raining the day we went, we were shown a presentation by a doctor that explained that the sperm would be surgically removed, a good one sought out, its tail snapped and then it would be injected into the egg.
Curiously the images that are often seen of IVF are actually ICSI, in real IVF the egg is left in a petri dish and the sperm apparently make their own way into the egg!
I remember finding the whole experience quite depressing. Because I knew straight away that my BMI (Body Mass Index) was way over the limit for Bourne Hall and that I would either need to get about a foot taller or 2 stone lighter. Both options trying to be tied in with school holidays not easier.
Did I mention I am a teacher? So fitting IVF in so that it is not too intrusive in my school life has not been easy, in fact it has been a great stress factor, which is obviously not good for IVF.
There has been so much going on this year, I got a promotion (albeit a secondment) and there have been many changes, none of these good for the stress levels. And I haven’t wanted to discuss the potential of IVF with school.
I don’t think it would go down well!
I have put off having children for so long though, I always wanted to be with the right person, be in the right financial position, be in a stable home, etc etc…
I wont forget meeting someone on a training course a few years ago who told me, when I said I was “waiting for the right time”; what do you want your epitaph to say. “Beloved mother or, great head of department!” – Low blow!!!
The truth is I have met the right person, but the fact that he e has had a vasectomy and “we” have children means that we have to pay all the costs of IVF. As much as I love my step children they do not fulfil my personal desire for my own children, and I suspect if they did, their mother would be quite unhappy! And despite the fact that IVF isn’t life saving surgery, it does grate a bit that if I were not in a committed relationship and happy with someone who has had the poor judgement and advice to have had a vasectomy, I myself as a single woman would be eligible for 3 courses of IVF.
What this means in reality is that my decision to marry my lovely husband and want a child of my own will cost approximately £7000 for IVF treatment, if it works first time. If it doesn’t work first time the costs will shoot up.
As it happens we found a clinic that were offering a 3 for the price of 2 offer!
Sounds weird for IVF until you know that it doesn’t often work first time.
The success rate for IVF drops off considerably after 35 years old.
Figures from the HFEA Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority The average success rate for IVF treatment using fresh eggs in the UK (2006-07)
28.2% (for women under 35);
23.6% (for women aged 35-37)
18.3% (for women aged 38-39)
10.6% (for women aged 40-42)
I am in the 38-39 category which means that I have less than a 20% chance of success.
Lots of interesting facts and figures http://212.49.193.187/cps/rde/xbcr/SID-3F57D79B-171D6895/hfea/facts_and_figures.pdf
My lovely husband needed a vasectomy reversal and I was warned by my doctor that these are not always successful and not always successful for very long. Which was a big shock to My LH as when he had had the vasectomy it was more a less a suggestion in the surgery one week and a call in to have the vasectomy because someone else had cancelled theirs the next. Ironically on Valentines day. So I have always referred to it as the Valentines day Massacre.
As it is the Vasectomy is free and quick and easy, getting a reversal was a trial, the hospital insist that the samples are free from any traces of swimmers, swimming or lazing on the meniscus. This took some time.
Immediately after the Reversal there was minute traces of Swimmers, but about a month after that there were absolutely none.
Devastated! What really peed me off was, the doctor could have taken a sperm sample at the time and could have checked the tubes for blockages and made a join in the cut tubes avoiding blockages, but he didn’t and this cost several thousand pounds. Even more curiously one side of My LH’s tubes had apparently healed themselves! But no swimmers!
So the first time we looked into this we went to Bourne Hall in Cambridgeshire, which is where the first IVF baby was born.
It was raining the day we went, we were shown a presentation by a doctor that explained that the sperm would be surgically removed, a good one sought out, its tail snapped and then it would be injected into the egg.
Curiously the images that are often seen of IVF are actually ICSI, in real IVF the egg is left in a petri dish and the sperm apparently make their own way into the egg!
I remember finding the whole experience quite depressing. Because I knew straight away that my BMI (Body Mass Index) was way over the limit for Bourne Hall and that I would either need to get about a foot taller or 2 stone lighter. Both options trying to be tied in with school holidays not easier.
Did I mention I am a teacher? So fitting IVF in so that it is not too intrusive in my school life has not been easy, in fact it has been a great stress factor, which is obviously not good for IVF.
There has been so much going on this year, I got a promotion (albeit a secondment) and there have been many changes, none of these good for the stress levels. And I haven’t wanted to discuss the potential of IVF with school.
I don’t think it would go down well!
I have put off having children for so long though, I always wanted to be with the right person, be in the right financial position, be in a stable home, etc etc…
I wont forget meeting someone on a training course a few years ago who told me, when I said I was “waiting for the right time”; what do you want your epitaph to say. “Beloved mother or, great head of department!” – Low blow!!!
The truth is I have met the right person, but the fact that he e has had a vasectomy and “we” have children means that we have to pay all the costs of IVF. As much as I love my step children they do not fulfil my personal desire for my own children, and I suspect if they did, their mother would be quite unhappy! And despite the fact that IVF isn’t life saving surgery, it does grate a bit that if I were not in a committed relationship and happy with someone who has had the poor judgement and advice to have had a vasectomy, I myself as a single woman would be eligible for 3 courses of IVF.
What this means in reality is that my decision to marry my lovely husband and want a child of my own will cost approximately £7000 for IVF treatment, if it works first time. If it doesn’t work first time the costs will shoot up.
As it happens we found a clinic that were offering a 3 for the price of 2 offer!
Sounds weird for IVF until you know that it doesn’t often work first time.
The success rate for IVF drops off considerably after 35 years old.
Figures from the HFEA Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority The average success rate for IVF treatment using fresh eggs in the UK (2006-07)
28.2% (for women under 35);
23.6% (for women aged 35-37)
18.3% (for women aged 38-39)
10.6% (for women aged 40-42)
I am in the 38-39 category which means that I have less than a 20% chance of success.
Lots of interesting facts and figures http://212.49.193.187/cps/rde/xbcr/SID-3F57D79B-171D6895/hfea/facts_and_figures.pdf
Sunday, 19 July 2009
The first injection
I was going to take the injections in the morning. But rang up the emergency help line, which I don’t think impressed the poor nurse on the other end, but finally we got to speak.
I had been asked to start the injections on the Monday, but actually all the literature says that it should be taken on the 21st day and what with my cycle being a bit squiffy, Monday it seemed might be pushing it a bit. The nurse agreed that we needed to start the injections today. But that meant that we would need to do the injection when we got home, which meant that the injections which need to be done at the same time every day would need to continue being done at night.
I could not have been more terrified.
My step children were sent to bed and I prepared my first syringe of medicine!
Sticking a needle into to ones tummy is surely not a natural thing to want to do.
I got in such a flap I forgot to take my folic acid.
As it is I tried to get myself to do it to myself but I couldn’t so my lovely husband had to do it for me.
The truth is I didn’t feel the needle it really didn’t really hurt, although the sensation of the liquid being injected was a bit weird and it itched where it had been injected afterwards for a while.
Off I went to sleep with my glass of water, because apparently you have to drink plenty of water or you can get migraines.
I have discovered that you can get the drug as a nasal spray, although this is currently difficult to get hold of. There are some reports that the nasal spray doesn’t work as quickly as the injections, and some clinics prefer to use the injections but I don’t know the science behind why.
Apparently the same drug is some times used in the treatment of breast or testicular cancer!
I had been asked to start the injections on the Monday, but actually all the literature says that it should be taken on the 21st day and what with my cycle being a bit squiffy, Monday it seemed might be pushing it a bit. The nurse agreed that we needed to start the injections today. But that meant that we would need to do the injection when we got home, which meant that the injections which need to be done at the same time every day would need to continue being done at night.
I could not have been more terrified.
My step children were sent to bed and I prepared my first syringe of medicine!
Sticking a needle into to ones tummy is surely not a natural thing to want to do.
I got in such a flap I forgot to take my folic acid.
As it is I tried to get myself to do it to myself but I couldn’t so my lovely husband had to do it for me.
The truth is I didn’t feel the needle it really didn’t really hurt, although the sensation of the liquid being injected was a bit weird and it itched where it had been injected afterwards for a while.
Off I went to sleep with my glass of water, because apparently you have to drink plenty of water or you can get migraines.
I have discovered that you can get the drug as a nasal spray, although this is currently difficult to get hold of. There are some reports that the nasal spray doesn’t work as quickly as the injections, and some clinics prefer to use the injections but I don’t know the science behind why.
Apparently the same drug is some times used in the treatment of breast or testicular cancer!
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Buserelin/Suprefact
When we went to get checked up and pick up the drugs, the nurse asked which I wanted the ones that you inject once or the ones that you inject in your tummy every day (Buserelin/Suprecur).
I won’t lie I was a complete woose, and I decided to have the drug that only needed to be injected once.
As it is I suddenly realised that because my cycle is ever so slightly scew wiff sometimes the nurse had made me an appointment for a date that was too early.
That meant that we would have to go back again if we wanted to get the 1 time only injection which was a lot more expensive.
Talking of the expense, there are lots of places you can buy the drugs on the internet, and I am sure that some of them you can trust, but I think that when you are spending so much on them where ever you buy them from, and spending so much on treatment you want to be 100% sure that you are not taking something that isn’t going to work! People sell their left overs on the internet etc. But is it really worth the risk.
To put it into context the IVF part of our treatment is about £3000, but then the ICSI which is the injecting of the sperm into the egg is about £1500, but then the PESE which is the operation to take sperm out of my husband is about £750, there are other expenses too, as I have mentioned the Buserelin/Suprecur this is about £1000 (July 2009 prices).
The Buserelin is given to give a mini menopause, when the period has come the clinic will then give directions to me about taking drugs that will be delivered next Tuesday to stimulate my ovaries into creating eggs.
I nearly said lots of eggs, but I think the quantity is not as important as many people might believe, I think the quality of the eggs is a really important factor.
Some people get lots of eggs and no pregnancy, some get one egg and 1 pregnancy.
Well I practiced giving a lump of plastic the injections. But still terrified….
I won’t lie I was a complete woose, and I decided to have the drug that only needed to be injected once.
As it is I suddenly realised that because my cycle is ever so slightly scew wiff sometimes the nurse had made me an appointment for a date that was too early.
That meant that we would have to go back again if we wanted to get the 1 time only injection which was a lot more expensive.
Talking of the expense, there are lots of places you can buy the drugs on the internet, and I am sure that some of them you can trust, but I think that when you are spending so much on them where ever you buy them from, and spending so much on treatment you want to be 100% sure that you are not taking something that isn’t going to work! People sell their left overs on the internet etc. But is it really worth the risk.
To put it into context the IVF part of our treatment is about £3000, but then the ICSI which is the injecting of the sperm into the egg is about £1500, but then the PESE which is the operation to take sperm out of my husband is about £750, there are other expenses too, as I have mentioned the Buserelin/Suprecur this is about £1000 (July 2009 prices).
The Buserelin is given to give a mini menopause, when the period has come the clinic will then give directions to me about taking drugs that will be delivered next Tuesday to stimulate my ovaries into creating eggs.
I nearly said lots of eggs, but I think the quantity is not as important as many people might believe, I think the quality of the eggs is a really important factor.
Some people get lots of eggs and no pregnancy, some get one egg and 1 pregnancy.
Well I practiced giving a lump of plastic the injections. But still terrified….
Friday, 17 July 2009
IVF - Its really real!
We spent so long looking into the pricing, looking into the places, looking into the different techniques and talking to different people that it almost doesn't feel real.
Which is why perhaps it has taken me until now to write about it.
Now it feels real.
There is so much information and there is so much to consider that it can seem so daunting.
I have learned so much and still I am often confused and surprised by the things that I learn and also in some ways the methods of some of the clinics.
The doctor we chose, scribbled us down some notes and didn’t seem to mind me scribbling my own.
Like most doctors his notes were totally illegible.
But like I say he didn’t seem to mind me writing my own. And me asking questions which was a huge improvement on the clinic we first started.
Being a teacher it has been difficult to find the right time to start the IVF. I was under the mistaken illusion that you could pretty much start when ever you wanted. But you need to make sure that you start certain treatments on certain days within your cycle.
I now know that with drugs you can then play with the dates of egg retrieval but, that would probably take more drugs, and the drugs aint cheap!
Which is why perhaps it has taken me until now to write about it.
Now it feels real.
There is so much information and there is so much to consider that it can seem so daunting.
I have learned so much and still I am often confused and surprised by the things that I learn and also in some ways the methods of some of the clinics.
The doctor we chose, scribbled us down some notes and didn’t seem to mind me scribbling my own.
Like most doctors his notes were totally illegible.
But like I say he didn’t seem to mind me writing my own. And me asking questions which was a huge improvement on the clinic we first started.
Being a teacher it has been difficult to find the right time to start the IVF. I was under the mistaken illusion that you could pretty much start when ever you wanted. But you need to make sure that you start certain treatments on certain days within your cycle.
I now know that with drugs you can then play with the dates of egg retrieval but, that would probably take more drugs, and the drugs aint cheap!
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