You know you're carrying multiples because...

~You've been pregnant for three days and you're already eating at least twice your weight in food.

~By week 12 you're as big as a house and folk ask, "When are you due?"

~The NHS panics and writes in bold letters, HIGH RISK PREGNANCY!! (And thus the fun begins...)

~"Morning Sickness" is a distant dream. You would give anything to only be feeling so wretched in the mornings...

~Everyone feels that it is their civic duty to cheerfully inform you that you're going to be really miserable once the babies arrive. "More then ONE newborn! Imagine it! You'll never get any sleep or rest or peace!"

~You are asked, over and over again by the same people, "Are they identical or no?" (Seriously folks WRITE IT DOWN!)

~You find yourself stuck and struggling to try and come up with a fourth name...

~Everyone under the sun sends you matching outfits. "Isn't it going to be soooo funnnn to dress them alike?"

~You suddenly realize that you only have one pram...

...and one cot and one moses basket and one car seat and... oh lordy, how the bank account begins to shrink!!

But at least you have two boobs!!

~You find yourself bursting out of your maternity clothes!! Suddenly trash bags begin to look like a plausable fashion statement.

~ By the fourth month you discover that getting in and out of the bath tub is a study in indignity.

~You begin to call yourself, "The Beached Whale." And you're serious!


~By month 6 you begin to knock down old ladies and small children with your massive belly.

~Also, by month 6 you notice that your bum suddenly begins to look small.

~Rolling over in bed requires the use of a bar supplied by Occupational Therapy + a well-orchastrated six-point turn.

~You find that you cannot get on or off of the toilet without grunting like a wildebeest.

~One small cough or sneeze and you pee yourself.

~One small move and you rip a massive belch that so totally comes out of nowhere that you have absolutely no time to cover your mouth. (This happens especially in public.)

~You are starving half to death because you can only eat two or maybe three bites of food at a time. Then, the sweet babes within begin to hammer your stomach and make you want to curl up and die.

~Bedtime becomes living hell. You end up with fist-sized knots in your thighs, your calves ball up, your toes go into spasm, the ligaments that hold your womb in place begin to scream, your kidneys ache, your eyes feel like they are being popped out of your head, you can't breathe, and... you have to pee every 30 minutes which requires the 6-point turn, the mighty grunting heave, and the agonized waddle down the hall...

~And so... for the first time in your life you are happy to hear the alarm go off!!

~And everyone says to you, "Gee you look so tired!" and you want to slap them upside the head. "Thank you, Captain Obvious!"

~You can no longer reach the kitchen sink to do the dishes.

~You stopped being able to bend about six months ago. So who knows what's on the floor!

~As if your life is not exciting enough, your feet and legs begin to swell like sausages. Thus you begin to putter around in your husband's (or friend's?? Partner's??) smelly old slippers... and even they don't fit right.

~People continue to insist that, ha ha ha! Soon the misery will being! Ha ha ha, soon you won't get any sleep! Ha ha ha! Won't you be wishing they were back inside, eh? Ho, ho, ho! Poor you!

~You know you have feet. You must have feet. But you haven't seen them in ages!!

~You start needing help getting dressed and putting on your shoes. For those feet you are sure you must still have...

~If you try and dress yourself you end up doing this funky Multiples Waddle Two Step around the room because you can't lift your legs like a normal person.

~Socks. Don't even tell me about socks!!!

~You realize you need to trim your toenails because you start to shred the sheets. Ooops. That's what happens if you can't see your feet!

~If you make it to month 8 you start to jump up and down in a mad attempt at evicting the little Body Snatchers so you can finally, after all this time, BREATHE!!
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Sleep... how I love you. How I miss you! COME BACK !!

by Farm Mom