Dem bones dem bones dem dry bones

My bones were all crunching all night and my (.)(.) are very sore again, I am already knackered. this morning when I peed on a stick the test line went pink before the control line. Hoorah!

Books

Yesterday I went with mum to the shops, I resisted the urge to buy or look at anything really for babies but hot a water bottle to take to school to give my babies their 2 litres of water a day. I got some large trousers and big tops, with the hope I might grow into them, and a book about baby development and a pregnancy journal. I was reticent about the books jic, but I came to the conclusion I would rather have a happy memento than no record and a denial, so every day I will hope against hope for a reason to write in my journal, all the way to and beyond the end.

I will try to stay calm at work, I will eat all the right things and continue not drinking. I never thought I would find it easy, but somehow it has been.

I have asked mum to join freecycle and look out for stuff for me, she didn't seem all that fussed, freecycle clearly irritates her, but I hope she will put her irritation aside and try, I thought it was a nice way to involve her that she would like and that she could send the boys to pick things up, we'll see :-)

How would you know

So here is a picture of this mornings 10miu/ml test with a barely there line, and a clear blue test that actually told me in words. I wonder how many pregnancies get missed because the apparently sensitive test are rubbish!

I did get worried that Clear Blue said 2-3 weeks but then I realised it was because it is since coneption not last missed period or 40 weeks that seems to be used now :-)

Richard: Fingers crossed!

Natalie discreetly showed me the Clearblue result in her handbag and Wow! She has been checking every day but the cheap testers were only giving a feint line so it is great to see the clear word Pregnant on the display. I am really really excited and keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes OK over the next few days and weeks and months. I love Natalie so much and know she will make the best mother!

BFP

I have totally driven myself totally nuts since Saturday afternoon with the cheap internet pregnancy tests. These have shown a very faint line since Tuesday night that got not darker, and I was getting really stressed thinking that I might have had a chemical pregnancy and that maybe I'd had an early miscarriage, so this morning, when I had the smallest bit of pee left in me, I dragged Richard to the big Tesco and I furtively stuffed a pregnancy test in my handbag (after it had been paid for).
So I was going to wait until tomorrrow to test, but in the end I couldn't stop myself from slipping into the loos at Tesco and peeing on the stick.
After a few seconds of a digital clock going round it said that the test result was "Pregnant"; small smile to myself. So I walked out to speak to R and show him, I showed it to him in my hand bag, by this time it said 2-3 on it which means I am 2-3 weeks past conception! I am blown away. At first I was confused because you are told to count two weeks before egg collection for the 40 week method, so I was a bit worried, but as it turns out I am 2-3 weeks past conception. So this is a BFP!

I am still terrified of the next few months but I am thrilled!

Frenzy

In the last couple of days I have worked myself up into such a frenzy, I ended up doing a 10 sensitivity pregnancy test in the middle of the day yesterday.

And peeing in a pot at 3 am so I could at least attempt to sleep, the whole experience is making me quite crazy.

I don't feel quite so hopeful at the moment and I couldn't say why, maybe because I am over tired. Maybe I have read too many accounts of other women over analysing their symptoms. Sometimes I think I feel a bit pregnant and then I think that it's not surprising with the progestogone pessaries morning and night. My fingers are crossed...

stats stats more stats

There are so many stats published with IVF all with different ages and different procedures.

H&E FC August 2008

"Currently 50% of our patients under 38yrs have an ongoing pregnancy with Blastocyst Transfer"

The stats are however very confusing data on the Herts and Essex site gives details as follows.

Are pregnancies, pregnancy tested, blood tested or heart beat monitored clinical pregnancies?

I would like to be able to see pregnancies per embryo transfer and per blastocyst transfer.

Drawing amatuer conclusions for the figures surprised me whereas research shows that miscarriages happen more to older women, these stats show that women less than 35 years old have a comparitively high failure rate

IVF and ICSI Outcomes Using Own Eggs	<35	35-37	38-39	40-42
Egg collections	614	386	270	195
Prenancies	225	109	56	22
One egg collection counts in stats as	0.16%	0.26%	0.37%	0.51%
Pregnancy rate	36.6%	28.2%	20.7%	11.3%
Delivered	200	98	50	18
One delivery counts in stats as	0.50%	1.02%	2.00%	5.56%
Live Birth Rate	32.6%	25.4%	18.5%	9.2%
No incident pregnancy	88.89%	89.91%	89.29%	81.82%
Pregnancies Not full term	11.11%	10.09%	10.71%	18.18%
Singleton	140	75	40	18
Twins	56	22	10	0
Triplets	1	1	0	0

Statistics based on treatments between 01 July 2006 to 30 June 2007 on the HFEA website (below) give similar figures, however it is not clear how many of these are ICSI procedures and how many are straight IVF or what % of successful pregnancies with live births are Blastocyst. This would be interesting and helpful informaiton.

8-39		Live birth rate per cycle started
Clinic	Distance (miles)	|0%	|32%	|65%	Total live births / Per cycle started
Bourn Hall Clinic	7.7	16%			24 / 147
CARE Northampton	39	++			13 / 49
Herts and Essex Fertility Centre	40.3	19%			25 / 134
Isis Fertility Centre	45.3	++			9 / 32
Brentwood Fertility Centre	47.1	++			1 / 16
London Female And Male Fertility Centre	49.6	++			0 / 4
Homerton Fertility Centre	50.8	13%			8 / 63
Chiltern Hospital Fertility Services Unit	51.6	++			7 / 43
CRM London	53	++			12 / 46
Barts and The London Centre for Reproductive Medicine	53.3	14%			22 / 156
		National Average = 19%

Another curious thing is the slightly below national average HEFC got for their 35-37 year olds, it is all the more surprising because all their other stats are so good.

35-37		Live birth rate per cycle started
Clinic	Distance (miles)	|0%	|32%	|65%	Total live births / Per cycle started
Bourn Hall Clinic	7.7	32%			90 / 284
CARE Northampton	39	40%			39 / 98
Herts and Essex Fertility Centre	40.3	25%			46 / 185
Isis Fertility Centre	45.3	++			7 / 49
Brentwood Fertility Centre	47.1	++			4 / 27
London Female And Male Fertility Centre	49.6	++			1 / 10
Homerton Fertility Centre	50.8	12%			8 / 68
Chiltern Hospital Fertility Services Unit	51.6	++			13 / 42
CRM London	53	49%			26 / 53
Barts and The London Centre for Reproductive Medicine	53.3	27%			59 / 218
		National Average = 27.7%

When you couple all this information with the fact that the HEFC website carries the following information below which again gives a very much upward trend for more recent cases it does make one wonder what it all means, obviously all situations are different, and HEFC do appear to be less selective about their patients, certainly I am living proof of that!

They have been very generous with my height weight ratio, although I must admit to until recently not having realised I'd grown at least an inch!

So without all the information about a clinic, it seems to be that the stats, just like school league tables are a guide at best. I know from my own school that the belief of and culture of success, breeds successful and happy students. Maybe the culture and belief of success that has been programmed into me by HEFC will breed a happy baby, maybe two :-)

Our very latest pregnancy results for IVF and ICSI per treatment cycle Updated monthly

<35> 35 – 37 Years 38 – 39 years 40 - 41 years 60.9% 51.2% 44.6% 30.0% Patients treated from 01/09/2008 to 05/08/2009 The table below shows the Clinical Pregnancy rate for the same period as above. (The clinical pregnancy rate is the % of patients who have an ongoing pregnancy as determined by an ultrasound scan) <35> 35 – 37 Years 38 – 39 years 40 - 41 years 50.7% 35.0% 33.8% 21.3% Patients treated from 01/09/2008 to 05/08/2009 *some patients still awaiting ultrasound scan - figures to be added If you would like a more individual statistic based on your personal circumstances we encourage you to call us on 01992 78 50 75 and ask to speak to a member of the team. Currently 50% of our patients under 38yrs have an ongoing pregnancy with Blastocyst Transfer